fun

Kindness and Consideration

One of my biggest issues with “people these days” is that so many think they are beyond rules. Beyond obeying signs in traffic that say “Merge left one mile” and instead wait until they can’t go further and try to cut in front of someone who got over when they were supposed to. People who clearly see everyone doing one thing and think they are the special snowflake that doesn’t have to follow the rules.

Leaving the Levitt Shell Sunday, my son said he needed to use the bathroom. My sister-in-law said her son did, too, but she hoped the line wasn’t long. We walk back to the bathrooms (not porta potties – nice permanent bathrooms, 2 for women on one side of a small building and 2 for men on the other side) and there is only one woman waiting in line.

“Oh that’s not bad,” my sister-in-law said, and we get in line behind the one woman with our two children, and another friend behind us.

The one woman goes into the bathroom. A woman gets in line behind us. Another woman walks up to the grassy space between the two bathroom doors. Immediately I know she’s cutting in line because, let’s be honest – I always think the worst of people. By now there are two girls and their boyfriends in line behind the woman who came up behind our small group.

The other bathroom doors opens and the woman standing in the grassy spot walks towards it as I loudly tell my son “Go on in that… Oh, ok nevermind, we will keep waiting IN LINE.”

The woman gave me the stink eye, starting closing the door, and then opened it back up. “I’ve been waiting to go FOREVER,” she says snidely.

“When we walked up there was ONE WOMAN IN LINE and she just went in that one,” I pointed.

“You’re REALLY going to start this in front of your kid?” she scoffed.

I was baffled. “Start this”? Standing up for ourselves? Was she trying to mom-shame me? Excuse me, but – Bitch, please. “YES, I am,” I said, “Because he knows it’s right to wait for your turn and I don’t want people walking all over him his whole life.”

My five-year-old nephew even loudly said “Yeah, that’s skipping!”

She didn’t comment but I hope she heard it all before going into that bathroom.

I seriously had at LEAST 2 grown witnesses and 2 children witnesses – I’m not sure what the woman who got into line behind us saw. But I was just… flabbergasted. She clearly WAS NOT waiting in line when we got in line. If she had been “waiting to go FOREVER” she must have been holding it during the concert and that’s her own fault. But she was NOT in line, or even anywhere near the bathrooms when my small group approached.

There is also clearly a place for a line. We went to a show Friday night to and used the bathrooms twice and there is just a natural place for the line to form next to the railing.

But besides all that… You are really going to skip ahead of two children (WHO WERE WAITING IN LINE) who need to pee? Maybe she thought they would be messy and us parents wouldn’t clean up after them, but that’s a stretch. She was clearly only thinking of herself. I really try to not judge people on looks but she was young, blond, decked out in athletic gear, and clearly was used to getting her way, uncontested. That’s why as soon as she walked up, I was like “Yup, I know what’s happening here.”

I don’t like when people cut in front of me in traffic when signs gave you a mile to merge. And I don’t like you skipping in line in front of my son and nephew who need to pee just because you’re entitled and are used to getting your way. I speak up about stuff like that, and YES I do it in front of my kid because I don’t want HIM to be that jerk that cuts in front of people. I want him to follow the rules BUT ALSO call out those who don’t. Because they are the ones messing up the flow.

I know everyone has their own problems, but… if you’re out in public, please just follow the rules and be a decent person so everyone else can have a decent day. In this case, if she came running up and whispered that she was on her period or even “I drank 12 beers and really need to pee!” I would have ushered her in front of us with no qualms. But walking up and being ENTITLED to it is what pisses me off, and then trying to MOM-SHAME me about “starting this” in front of my kid makes my blood boil.

The only thing that gives me peace of mind about this is that she clearly doesn’t have any kids… yet. I can only hope that once she does, she’ll have learned a lesson or two and will raise them to be decent human beings, instead of being raised to be a replica of her. We don’t need anymore people like that. Be kind, show compassion, follow the rules… be decent.

 

holidays, money, school

Standing Your Ground

It’s hard to be zero waste sometimes. In my house, I have complete control. I can package things in glass containers and reuse them. I can recycle. I can pick what I purchase and make sure it’s economical financially and environmentally. But out in the world, it gets a little harder.

I mentioned Valentines before, those little paper slips every kid hands out to every other kid in their class. Every Valentine’s Day, from preschool to middle school. That’s a lot of waste. My son’s preschool has different kids come on different days, so he had two Valentines parties. We sent one batch of Valentines, thinking the kids who were there on the first day would get theirs, and the kids who only attend on the other day would get theirs at that party. My son came home Tuesday with Valentines from his classmates, and on Wednesday he came home with more – some from the same classmates.

I felt embarrassed and cheap. “Was I supposed to send another set of Valentines for the second party?” I asked the teacher. She assured me it was fine, but another teacher was looking on with an expression that made me feel like I should have sent more.

But I hate them! (To be fair, some are cool. Some are just gummies with a note on the wrapper. Some had sticky hands attached, and those are always fun. But most were just slips of paper.) Why was I so worried that I had done something wrong, when I didn’t really want to do it in the first place?

I don’t want to be seen as cheap. But honestly, I guess I am cheap. I’m not stingy – I will buy things for fun for my kids; I will splurge on a nice dinner or treat a friend to coffee. But I felt cheap for not sending a second batch of paper Valentines. Why?!

How do you deal with standing strong in public? I have yet to take glass containers to the store to buy granola in bulk. I usually forget to take in my canvas bags, but when I do, the baggers always seem a little taken aback. I have no problem explaining why I think and do what I do, but sometimes it’s hard, and I feel the pressure from society to just conform to consumerism and waste. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you react?